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Le petit TOTO


lolipso

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1- C'est une conversation entre une maîtresse d'école et Toto :

Toto :

- Madame, madame, est-ce que je peux être puni pour quelque chose que je n'ai pas fait ?

La maîtresse :

- Mais bien sur que non Toto, on ne va pas te punir pour quelque chose que tu n'as pas fait.

Toto :- Eh bien, ça va alors... je n'ai pas fait mes devoirs hier !

 

2 - Le petit Toto récite sa prière avant d'aller se coucher :

- S'il-vous plaît, Seigneur, faites que Alma soit la capitale du Québec

Sa mère l'interrompt.

- Pourquoi demandes-tu que Alma soit la capitale du Québec ?

- Parce que c'est ce que j'ai répondu dans mon examen !

3 - Toto a du mal à comprendre l'arithmétique.

La maîtresse essaie de lui faire comprendre grâce à des exemples:

- Toto, si tu plonges la main dans ta poche de droite et que tu trouves une pièce de 1 euro; puis si

tu plonges ta main gauche dans ta poche de gauche et que tu trouves un autre euro, qu'est-ce que

tu auras ?

- Le pantalon de quelqu'un d'autre Madame.

 

4 - La maîtresse demande à Toto

- Toto, quel est le meilleur moment pour cueillir les cerises ?

- Quand le chien du voisin est attaché, madame !

 

5 - la nouvelle institutrice a envie d'inculquer des notions de psychologie à ses élèves.

Elle s'adresse à la classe en ces termes:

- Que celui qui a l'impression d'être stupide par moment se lève !

Après une bonne dizaine de secondes, Toto se lève... de mauvaise grâce.

L'institutrice:

- Alors comme ça Toto, tu penses que de temps en temps tu peux être stupide ?

- Non m'dame, mais ça me faisait de la peine de vous voir toute seule debout.

 

:D:D:D:D

 

 

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:) Une petite supplémentaire :

La maîtresse de classe explique ce qu'est une rime et demande à chaque élève d'en faire une, pour voir si ils ont bien compris. Vient le tour de toto :

- "J'étais dans la mare au grenouilles et j'avais de l'eau jusqu'aux ... genoux."

- La Maîtresse: Mais ça ne rime pas toto !

- Toto: "Oui je sais, il y avait pas assez d'eau !"

:D

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